i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I smell stomach acid.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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