yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
