its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
