Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
