ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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