TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
