I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
