Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
