i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
