we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize