you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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