thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
