I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize