It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
