Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
