im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
