i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
