C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
