i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize