my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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