I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
