People with herpes should wear stickers.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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