Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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