This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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