Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
