I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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