i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
