All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
