I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
