What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize