What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
