I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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