she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
