that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
