the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize