who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
