and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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