She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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