Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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