i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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