i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
