how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
