Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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