Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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