the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize