What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize