there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
