I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
