Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
