i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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