I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Randomize
