remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
