I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize