come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
