on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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