Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
