That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
