high people should be assigned attendants
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
